Falsification

 

This piece is a contribution from Shubham Gangopadhyay ( Oh boy, I hope I got the name right!) and let's just say that quite a few adjectives you use to describe yourself will be gunned down. So,here goes.

Falsification is about how you trick your minds into believing you are something that you are not. All the mental barriers that you set up in your mind, like imaginary lines that divide you from the rest of the world, are lies.

All the words and ideas that I used to define myself are as false as crop circles. Honesty, love and being considerate were the few positive aspects that I attributed my life to, but in the past one month I was acquainted with my true self, the self that broke through all barriers and proved that in the heart of hearts, I am an asshole. I am not honest, my behavior to my parents and my college has proven that. I have no respect or regard for the latter ( no one would! ). My love and attachment to the former element is ( was ) absolute and I had to lie to achieve it. I think, while on this aspect, even my characteristics of "love" can be questioned. Let’s just say it’s like a faulty switch, the balance between love-for-others and love-for-myself is balanced precariously. I have always made compromises for the people I love, often stretching to my universe's end to meet their demands; but, on occasions, I have also passed over them without as much as a spark of thought.

Being considerate was the last of my virtues which I prized, but a recent event rocked my hollow lies. They have flattened my final lie which I had built to save myself from the world and justify my actions when nothing would go right. One of the few people who I still look at and smile, had gone through the fires of hell and blizzards on this holy earth, that would make "the day after tomorrow" look like "a day in the refrigerator". All this was probably not for me alone but made a lot of difference to me and I cast it aside like the husk of grains. I can pour consideration down the drain. Imagine what must be going through that person's mind?

Hate is obvious, but I don't feel miserable; I feel depressed and unsettled. Not because I have alienated one of my closest friends but because I have broken the final myth to the words that defined me- like the winds of reality blew away my hollow lies. I guess there is one aspect of my characteristics that I know is strong and innate, and that is selfishness. It will stick with me throughout, feeding the seed of avarice in me and tormenting the humanity within me.